BY Hugh Howser
I can’t remember a day that goes by when someone doesn’t ask me a wedding question. Whether they are a friend, client or a dental assistant. They ask me everything from “Do I need flowers at the church?” or “Can I just pay for the band or the bar and not tell anyone?” to “Would you just marry my daughter, and come live with us, and help me pick out pillows for my sunroom?” I have heard it all, and I look forward to hearing a lot more! Here are my takes on a few categories surrounding wedding planning, beginning with communication.
Communication
I have always said event planners were created because a caterer said they would handle the party, and you can imagine what happened. Much like a subcontractor, our role was established – to confirm, finalize, execute and strike. Let’s begin with communication! Communicating with your planner is so basic, but it really is the only key to success! From the minute you begin, establish your budget, and then determine your roles. Think of your wedding planner as a favorite camp counselor, who will take you under their wing and guide you for the next few months.
Trust
Trust is a huge factor in wedding planning, it is a huge investment and should be turned over to a professional to execute. Both planner and client must feel comfortable with each other, and you will know from the start if it is the right fit!
This goes for the client as well. Years ago, I identified the “Sneaky Mom” persona – a client who commits the worst crime, going behind a planner’s back and contacting a vendor without anyone knowing. These are moms who commit the ultimate NO NO…. Contacting a vendor without telling you.
“SNEAKY MOM” No No’s
Setting up a meeting without telling you – some sneaky moms will try and arrive early for an appointment to talk to the vendor before the planner arrives! I always arrive early when I’ve got a sneaky one…it just about does them in.
Creating their own timeline without telling you.
Throwing curve balls at you on the wedding day! “We forgot to tell you about a family heirloom, Uncle Carl can’t eat carrots, Aunt Bernice cannot be outside, and they require a back pillow for their dinner chair, the list goes on.
I make them laugh and keep them distracted the whole time with vodka. Or wad up extra linen and create a bolster pillow.
Boundaries
I have none, but I really should get them. I drag fabric samples to clients’ offices, homes, etc., and take calls and emails all day and night. I never thought about it because I love to talk about design, so it’s always been a joy. However, you should probably understand office hours in the wild – ZOOM meetings – world we live in. We should set certain times to meet with each other!
This is just a sampling of issues that planners experience, and magically the client never knows, as we handle everything behind the scenes, the event day arrives, and no one has any idea that moments before, we almost ate in a horse stable that I pressure washed.
Xoxo
Hugh
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